Psychology of Leaving http://www.sexabuseyidl.net/categories/psychology-of-leaving/feed.rss Thu, 21 Sep 17 22:33:41 -0600 Psychology of Leaving en-CA Critical implications http://www.sexabuseyidl.net/discussion/22/critical-implications Fri, 13 May 2011 16:55:54 -0600 batawe 22@/discussions The main problem is always, that when you are surprised and in stupor, like zombie, you can do certain things, even if you do not want it. For example, when the girl started to pull down the trousers of the other girl in the testimonial, why did she allow her to do it? In a way, even if she couldn't act differently as she acted at that time, in a sense, she is also responsible for her actions, even if the 'victim' appears as one without her will, powerless etc...even if the circumstances were such and such, even if it was happening unconsciously, automatically, still, you co-authored it and allowed it to happen, taken from a certain perspective. This questions are part of the future solution of the problem; the status of a victim must be taken into account, from victim's perspective also...Any thoughts on that? ]]> Cult Awareness and Recovery http://www.sexabuseyidl.net/discussion/35/cult-awareness-and-recovery Sun, 28 Aug 2011 20:33:49 -0600 admin 35@/discussions @speakup suggested:

Dear Roman, I am wondering if you could start a new discussion thread: cult awareness and recovery? I want to post some information that may be helpful to others and am not sure where else to put it. Sorry this post is a bit long, but I have reading information about cults very useful in understanding the behaviour and attitudes of some people posting on this forum and of those still trapped in the organisation.

I would like to offer this quote from Steve Hassan's book 'Combatting Cult Mind Control', 1990, p. 62 -62.

Thought Control

Thought control, a major component of mind control, includes indoctrinating members so thoroughly that they internalise the group doctrine, incorporate a new language system and use thought stopping techniques to keep their mind "centred". In order to be a good member, a person must learn to manipulate his own thought processes.

In totalistic cults, the ideology is internalised as "the truth", the only "map of reality". The doctrine not only serves to filter incoming information but also regulates how the information can be thought about. Usually the doctrine is absolutist, dividing everything into "black versus white", "us versus them". All that is good is embodied in the leader and the group. All that is bad is on the outside.

A destructive cult typically has its own "loaded language" of words and expressions. The cult's cliches, or loaded language, also put up an invisible wall between believers and outsiders... (eg. 'guru vakya')

Another key aspect of thought control involves training members to block out any information which is critical of the group... The first line of defense includes denial (What you say isn't happening at all"), rationalization ("This is happening for a good reason"), justification (This is all happening because it ought to"), and wishful thinking ("I'd like it to be true so maybe it really is").

If information transmitted to a cult member is perceived as an attack on either the leader,the doctrine, or the group, a hostile wall goes up. Members are trained to disbelieve any criticism. Critical words have been explained away in advance as "the lies that Satan (eg. Asura shakti's or Cici) puts in peoples minds. Paradoxically, criticism of the group confirms that the cult's view of the world is correct. The information presented does not register properly.

Perhaps the most widely and effective way to control cult member's thoughts is thought stopping rituals. Members are taught to use thought stopping on themselves. Whenever a cult member begins to experience a "bad" thought, he/she uses thought-stopping to drown out the "negativity" and center himself, thus learning how to shut out anything that threatens his/her reality. Different groups use different thought stopping techniques: praying, chanting aloud or silently, singing (eg. mantra repetition, bhajans). These actions, many of them useful and valuable are perverted in destructive cults ... thought stopping is the most direct way to short-circuit a person's ability to test reality ... it can also serve to keep a cult member working as an obedient slave.

My comment:
It would seem that many people still within the organisation are still stuck in this mental trap - the challenge is how to persuade them to open to the questions that are probably arising in their minds, but which they are blocking. I don't believe direct and personal attack is the best way to do this, these people are also victims in some sense and not acting from a place of true freedom.

Thanks to those posting information about what is happening in Europe - wish you all the best. ]]>
Destroying something good? http://www.sexabuseyidl.net/discussion/29/destroying-something-goods Thu, 19 May 2011 21:30:18 -0600 Tony 29@/discussions
"Why do you want to destroy all the good work swAmi has done? You may be disgruntled, fine, leave, but leave us alone. Why do you have this need to demolish everything good that has been built over time? Spiritual communities are few and precious. Why can't you respect them?"

First, there is no way this forum can destroy anything. Get real. If you are a firmly rooted disciple, this cannot possibly shake you, in fact you are not even reading this.

We are not actively out there destroying buildings, holding demonstrations outside, vandalizing meditation halls etc. This forum just sits here. It requires you to actively navigate with your browser here and read the material. Nobody is forcing you to read this. We did not drag you in here against your will. If this forum offends you, just leave (although my next paragraphs are kind of important, so you might as well finish reading this post).

The one group that may possibly be influenced by this forum are people who are fundamentally curious. People who used to inquire, doubt and question, but who had suppressed all these traits of intelligence because of the toxic brainwashing ideology of the organization. I have seen, over the years, that people usually join when they are at their most vulnerable point in life: in the middle of a personal crisis, loss of a family member, serious illness, financial difficulties, etc. These may be very inquisitive, independent minds who were simply trapped at their weak moment. I consider myself one of them, and I feel strong kinship to others in that category.

What I find most objectionable and deplorable about the entire movement is that it preys on the weak and on the innocent. It exploits people's desire to be good. It takes advantage of those who are seekers, who wish to grow, to find true knowledge, to better themselves. These are all very very good people, and people who want to do good things. To me, perverting these highest of human aspirations and making them work for one's own selfish self-aggrandization is the most despicable form of human conduct. If you want to take advantage of someone, be fair and pick someone your size. Do not prey on the weak and the innocent. (A nice example of a highly moral business is Rolex: basically you exploit rich idiots, zero harm done.)

And this is the crux of the problem: even though the organization brings together a lot of good people, the organization in itself is evil. The concept of karma yoga, work without attachment to any reward may sounds spiritual, but all it is, is slavery. The concept of absolute, unquestioning obedience to the guru is dehumanizing and humiliating, has absolutely no place in the modern, post-French revolution world. Your self-respect, your pride, your ego is condemned as something to be ashamed of, something to get rid of. Manipulations by exploiting the fear of the unknown, invoking the imaginary realm and superstition are profoundly dishonest. What to say about the racism, sexism, and religious intolerance, inherrent in the movement? Or of financial exploitation of the peoples of the former Eastern Europe, milking the starving cows, sucking the blood of the peoples who had been conveniently pre-rendered by their communist governments? These supposedly "spiritual" teachings are leading people, again good people, people who want to do good, into a complete, slavish, pathological dependency on the megalomaniacal guru, lead to an utter loss of critical thinking, suppression of doubts; entire lives are destroyed.

That's why.]]>
hi, I would like to say something to this http://www.sexabuseyidl.net/discussion/6/hi-i-would-like-to-say-something-to-this- Thu, 28 Apr 2011 03:25:42 -0600 michalsladek 6@/discussions I have witnessed a big change in YIDL over the years. It started so innocently, very grass roots, pure-hearted and spiritual, in countries where communist regimes controlled people and yoga seemed to be the pathway to freedom, at least on the inside. All the teachings were so fresh, new, giving us so much hope...

Then, slowly, there came rules, personal clashes, elite groups... It still looked great to someone who did not get too much involved. But, alas, the focus changed from spiritual practice and living yogic way of life to gaining numbers and influence and accepting guru's word as a law that should not be questioned. Guru was God, but the divine presence got lost amongst the rules.

This was the reason why I left- I needed to do what I find right, not what others tell me to do. It took me a few years to free myself internally. I had to look at myself very carefully, study my reactions, see where they come from. I had to nourish my inner spiritual connection too by studying and practicing with groups that emphasise direct spiritual experience(connection) and personal responsibility.

I can see that what happened now must be a great shock for many people. Their whole world is collapsing. Because I went through similar process, I want to share some things.

If you are a victim- don't close down, stay open. Open to people who love you and understand you and completely block off people who don't have pure intentions towards you. Ask for help, receive help, there is nothing wrong with that. Use your anger for action, to change your situation. We have been taught that negative emotions are BAD. This is very wrong. Negative emotions ARE. We can't get rid of them just by pushing them under the carpet and pretending that they disappeared. The only way to freedom is through direct (not intellectual) understanding. I have done some work in regression therapy (the ISIS method of Clairvision School in particular) and I can see more and more how we all are just slaves of our emotions, and mostly subconscious emotions. Your situation will not get better just by sitting in meditation and repeating mantra or by joining some church or group that offer many promises. It will also not get better just by turning your back on spirituality and hope that time will heal the wound. The only way how to get better is to do inner work, inner exploration, to face all these terrible memories from this life and from others, while being supported by the Light and by support of others who have been though it before. Only so you can regain your radiance. I personally am happy and grateful that I found such a group. One more thing- this all is part of the learning process of the soul. If you manage to get out of this, you will cover a lot of ground on your spiritual journey. It is not an easy ride but it is worth it. You reached (or will reach) a point when you KNOW that you had enough and you just can't go on like this, you just have to do something, anything. Then let your inner energy(=will) carry you through. You will get guidance. Ask and it shall be given, keep your hope, keep your eyes open.

To the others- we know about karma. There is this saying about sankalpa- choose something you deeply wish, but it should be good for you AND for the others now AND in the future. We constantly create karma (=seeds of the future), in every second, whether we are aware of it or not, through our thinking, words (includes writing) and actions. This whole world and all our circumstances are result of our past actions that we are not aware of. Please be aware of this. You can choose various actions- make these things public and warn others, or staying with YIDL and still find it a source of spiritual inspiration. Just make sure that whatever you do, to look at where is this impulse to act come from. Is it from anger? Or feeling that you know better than your spiritual brothers and sisters (these are people who do spiritual work and follow the Light in whichever way, whether they are swAmi's disciples or not) and you are therefore better than them? Or is it from following your inner voice and pure desire to make this world a better place? Notice your reactions carefully in meditation, observe them from the space of stillness. Then your actions will be pure and will not attract negative karma. swAmi did what he did and he is subject to law of karma like anyone else. He will get the fruits of his actions sooner or later. And so will we. So, I just wanted to ask you to be careful what you wish for because you are a creative force. You co- create this Universe. By the way, that is why this world looks like it does. Because we all created this. It is sad on one hand and encouraging on the other hand (because we have power to fix it!).

I wish everyone a revealing and rewarding journey through life. Expand... because to forgive and to understand means to become bigger than that what happened.

Michal Sladek]]>